Mum has gone home .... back to Scotland, back to dad, back to Annie and the kids and I am devastated!
What am I going to do without her?
She is my best friend.
We have been together pretty much every day since we stood together holding on to each-other at the bottom of dads hospital bed watching him on a ventilator machine after his heart bypass. She has been with me every single step of my journey of my life as I know it and I am now alone.
I never moved out of home until I was 25 and I am complete mummy's girl. I am fiercly independent because I know my mum is right behind me in whatever I do and wherever I go, with that reassuring look, a safe cuddle and a cup of tea.
We have been on holiday's together, we can live together easily, we'd go careering about the country on one of my mad hair-brained schemes, she helped me get ready to go out and would wait up for me coming home and we'd have tea and toast and I'd tell her everything I'd been up to. We'd go "up town" on a Saturday, we'd travel like a bat out of hell up to work together in one of my silly cars over the years, we'd go out for lunch, have girly fun, laugh, chat and just hang out. We did Astara together, she was the laundry lady and I'd be in for my tea with the best cabbage or a cuppa most nights after work right up until dad would tell me I had my own home to go to! I am so lucky to have had all this and I know time is so precious in life but I just wish it didn't have to end with me being so far away.
Mum has been with me and Joe most days since he was born and well before that too! He adores his gaggy just as much as I do and the hole that is in our lives now just seems huge, I feel like the right hand side of me has been ripped off and I am at a loss right now.
I know we will go to Scotland and she will come here for a visit, but life as I knew it is gone. And I am sad.
I love you so much mum and I am so grateful and thankful to have you as my mum, I miss you so much and I cant wait to see you in January!
xxxxxxx
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