HANDSOME HUGHES!

Joseph is such a gorgeous perfect wee baby boy that he deserves a post all to himself again! Poor little thing is just fantastic and doesn't moan about all the chaos that happens in his lovley happy life!

I am loving having more time with him, he's just such a cool well natured smiley baby and I love him more than I could ever describe or put into words!

This last week has been a busy one for my wee lad! He's been learning lots of new things and developing and growing at a fast rate! (almost as fast as his daddy is sailing to get home!! lol)

* He now has 2 teeth - one that is peeping through daily and then disappearing again, i've decided that it's because the weather is rubbish and it's too cold for tiny teeth!
*He's Waving!!!!! Yaaay!!! (especially at himself in the mirror)
*Helps you to dress him (pushes his legs/arms into jeans, babygrows, sleeves, it's soo sweet!
*He holds onto his own feet and pulls at his toes when ur changing his nappy!
*Holds things in his hands passing them from hand to hand properly really looking at it or playing with it!
*Holds his cup!
*Drinks outta his cup!
*Tries to hold his spoon at mealtimes!
*Ate mince n tatties, chicken, soup, pasta, bread, cheese - loves all food!
*Helps you brush his teeth / tries to hold the toothbrush!
*Holds his ball and throws it!
*Sits on your hip sideways to be carried about!
*Tries to grab the water flow in front of him if you pour water out of a tub into *the bath when he's in the bath!
*Is now smiling for the camera
*Can roll over and over and over!
*Has had his funrock put up a notch of height to the next adjustment level!
*Sits in his Pushchair and looks around!
*Has been out in St Andrews in his furry winter snow suit! (first trip of many!)
*Tries to give kisses and cuddles!!!! It feels totally amazing!
*He cuddles in for his nighttime feed!
*Goes to sleep perfectly every night again, without any fuss or crying!

I know that to most people with kids, or people who have none, this is not that exciting, but it really is to me as - i adore how he just loves to learn and it is amazing how he is managing to do all this himself, just at his own pace and I love it!! And I really want to use this blog to record all that he gets up to and when it happens - in with our everyday life stuff! So we can look back on it as he grows!

On a sad note, one thing I have noticed is that Joseph hates shopping!!! Typical!!! Just my luck - cos that's now 2 men in my life that'll be moaning at me getting grumpy!! Oh well - I'll survive ...... I'm used to it! ;)

Here's some pictures of my little angel!!

lotsa luv xxxx

Summer Holiday .......

....... Well I have finally managed to gather and scrape together 5 whole days off doing beauty and I have no clients booked in!!! YAAY!! this is the first bit of peace and quiet I am going to have had since that two faced, nasty FAT $*&@ decided to screw me over at the begining of July and I am so looking forward to it!!! It's going to be how maternity should be - spending time with my hunky Murphy husband and beautiful baby Joe and not have everybody else in and out the house bringing him up and looking after him - which i hate!!! (i just wish it was me all the time!)

Anyway's, am so Sorry i've not been on here for a bit, things have been more manic than i could ever have imagined possible! We've closed the shop, set up a beauty room in the house and a tanning area in my summer house! Mur's been to aberdeen for a week and passed his course, baby Joe's not been sleeping, He's been seriously teething and on Friday 1st October at 2.10pm I found is first little white tooth spiking through! It was amazing and he's drooled and chewed worse than normal since, all the way through the weekend!! Poor wee man! He's now also eating breakfast, lunch and tea and we are making sure he gets a good relaxing bathtime and bed routine and hopefully it'll start to work soon!

Mur's out at the sportsmans dinner tonight at the craws and fingers crossed he behaves himself and comes home on time and in one piece and so far he's late!!!!

anyway i'd better go to bed i'm shattered and still have the bottles to do!!! xxxxx nighty, night night!!!

(just thought i'd let you all know that i am feeling much better and more relaxed about things now - i'm just so so so tired and have literally had enough of all the crap that has gone on - i'm not even going to list it all i've decided its all now in the past and can bloody stay there as far as im concerned! Here's looking now to the future and i hope its full of lots of love and happiness, cos i've had my fair share of the down stuff!!! xxx)

I MADE IT!!!!!!!

Well a month has gone and my gorgeous man is back home where he belongs! He's totally shattered and is upstairs tucked into our bed sound asleep! It is so fabby to have him home, i've missed him loads!! But it's rubbish as this is just a pit-stop because he's off up to Aberdeen for a very hard course on Monday so i'll be flying solo again!! but it's just for 5 days as on Friday he's back home for another 3 weeks!!! wooooooo!!!!!

Another high point today is that I am sitting here blogging from the couch - because my beloved gave me a fantastic secret surprise today - my own Samsung Netbook!!! YAAY (so a big huuuge thank you to Mr Stenna Drilling!! who must have been feeling generous as this was a gift to all employees on Murs drillship for not being injured or killed over the last year - lol!!) Murray never told me he had it and i'm just really really thrilled he gave it to me - i seriously love getting presents and have had nothing for ages and this is just totally perfect for me and i'm totally over the moon with it!!!!! (totally!) I've got massive changes coming up in my life with so many different things happening that having this is going to make such a difference as is so easy to take around and is much smaller and lighter than my laptop!!! woop woo!!

Any way i'm actually surprised that i am sitting here in one piece blogging at all - after my crazy horrible time over the last wee while! - i am actually sitting here with a tidy house, a tan on, clean blowdryed hair, (i even got waxed!!!) i have 2 handsome sleeping boys upstairs and i'm so very, very happy!!!! My God, I made it!! - I never thought i'd actually get through it!!!! But I know i couldnt have managed a single second without my lovely special mum! My mum has been completely amazing! She's the kindest most selfless person I have ever met and I love her so much! She's been by my side contstantly and i know i can always rely on her support for everything, I am so grateful for all she does and I know i am so lucky to have a mum like i do as there are not many around! xxxx lOVE YOU SO MUCH MUM XXXX

Big Hugs xxxxxxxxxx

OMG - it's OCD!!!!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm officially going into hyper mode!! I'm cleaning like a demon!! I think it's because it's about the only thing I can control right now, but my house is sparkling like a new pin! And heaven help anyone who dares leave a crumb or a splash anywhere!

Although to be honest it's me that could actually do with a bit of an overhaul before Mur arrives home on Friday night aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!! I don't know where to start, I look horrific!

Anyways am away to attempt to tackle my feet and face first - although not too sure what good it'll do - but it'll probably make me feel better! A bit done each night should definately help!! lol (i feel like the forth rail bridge!!)

must dash - xxxxxx mwah xxxxxx

(ps - here's a wee cheeky pic of my gorgeous boy taken a month ago! xxx)

This one's for you Kiddo ............

Well it's been a hectic few months in the House of Hughes and poor wee joseph has hardly had a mention for ages and my goodness has he been very busy growing and learning and just being truly wonderful!

Baby Joe is the sweetest natured wee boy you could meet. He's a complete joy to be around, he's happy laid back and utterly scrummy!! He's got wit, charm, a good dose of sarcasm and a funny sense of humour!! He has the most expressive blue eyes - is a complete flirt, with a lovely smiley mouth and knows exactly what he wants! Jospeh really is just been the bestest thing that has every happened to me and I adore him.

Everything has been a complete pleasure to do with him, he's so alert and loves learning new things - and just really enjoys when you spend time with him doing even the simplest of things - he loves his feeding - apple is his favourite so far, he savours his bottles, adores his bath, always has lots of fun - laughing singing and entertaining himself in his funrock and donught! he has a fantastic time lying on his animal quilt with his play gym thingy and still loves chilling out in his bouncer everyday getting his fix of Baby TV - i know i was determined no dummy and no tv but he wanted both and loves them so much!!! - and what i hadnt bargained for was a baby with a mind of its own! lol xx

Joseph's favourite things are DOG, his GLOWWORM, BUNNY, his CRINKLY BOOKS, ZIGGY ZEBRA pram activty bar, his PLAY GYM, slumping down in his PRAM, sucking on his DUMMY and of course cuddling his MUZZY!!!

Over the last week or so not only is he trying to sit up and roll over he's determined to stand (while you hold him and support him) at any opportunity and today whilst standing he put one foot in front of the other in a walking movement!!!! Granny Mary clapped in delight and i almost wept, i was distraught ........... my god - my tiny gorgeous baby boy is getting huuuuge!!! He's like a mushroom growing in front of my eyes!

He tried commando crawling yesterday for the first time which was utterly hilarious - he was yelling, grunting, puffing and panting whilst he dragged himself along the floor trying to move his knees and crawl - it was adorable!! He was exhausted but so chuffed with himself as he lay panting in my arms afterwards following all is effort!

He found his voice last week and is really trying to speak, I just love hearing him and when i go through in the morning the smiles i get would melt your heart!! I find all this just amazing, as i'm not really a baby person but he just seems so perfect and i'm learing so much along with him and it sounds soppy but the world and the way it works feels special and clearer and new!! i'm looking at everything i've ever known or taken for granted so differently now through new fresh eyes!!

Tonight for the first time in days he's been really wild and really funny! He was wrestling, rolling about and generally flinging himself around his cot yelling, squealing and giggling, sucking in his bottom lip covering his new two little toothy bumps! while i was busy running his bath (he needs kept behind bars while i do this now, as he moves so far if he's left on the floor and i'm scared he comes outta the bathroom and falls down the stairs - a stair gate is next on my shopping list, lol!!!) after his bath, he had his favourtie supper and fell soundo, poor we man was absoloutly shattered and was dead to the world, out for the count by 8.30pm!!!

Do you know, for the first time in my life i'm looking forward to autumn - I really enjoy closing the curtains at night now as it gets dark - it kinda just feels like we are all snuggled up in our own special wee nest, nice, cosy and safe! And I can't wait for the next few weeks to come so i can get to spend more time with him, as every single second is worth everything i've been through!! But there is no competition and no descision between keeping on working in my salon or giving it all up and being at home with Joseph trying to be the bestest mummy i can be to the most amazing special little boy that i am lucky to have been blessed with!!! I thank him every single day for coming into my life as i am just so grateful and happy. xxxxx

BYE BYE BEAUTIFUL SALON

Well - what a year I am having! The high's are high and the low's are really low! I cant believe that I am actually closing my salon. It's a weird feeling and I had a complete meltdown this morning but i am on the road to recovery again now i think!

I am already feeling a lot lighter and less stressed and dare i say excited for the changes about to happen! OMG!!!!!!!!!!

But if i am honest thats the sugar coated version - as i'm just totally gutted!!

Over the next few blogs i'm gonna share some pics from years gone past of Astara and all the fun we've had!

As they say you've to reach rock bottom before getting back up and people I am seriously on my Ass so hopefully there's only one way ........!! xxxxxx

A New Begining

Well things i think are going to be quite exciting this next year i think - there's lots of heard work and heartbreaking descisions to make, but I feel that I am on the right path now!

Each day seems to bring with it a mixture of emotions and I am swinging from feeling happy and possitive one minute to being consumed by so much anger and hurt that I am actually scaring myself the next! but if i didn't feel this way after all that has happened to me recently i'd be dead on the inside! I do know that all things good or bad must come to an end at some point and that is what I am facing right now but it's not that easy to overcome!

The hardest thing at the moment is trying to get it into my head that over the next few weeks i Have to say goodbye - now i am rubbish at this at the best of times but this is gut wrenching and devestating. I can hardly look at Rona just now without welling up and spilling over! It's not often that 2 people can come together and just click. In 4 years we've never had a cross word, a dissagreement, or any kind problem with each other - we just fitted together and "got on with it" no messing, no fussing, it just was us against whatever. And it's never been "just a job" it's been somewhere that was us. Astara is just as much Rona as it is Sarah, we've had fun, laughs, tears and have shared so much, that i know that things will never be the same again in the future. I have always felt supported and knew my back was always covered and this change that's coming, is truly awful. I have no idea how i'll get through it.

How am i going pack up all my dreams, take down the shelves and shut that door? i remember every little step that has brought me to where i am today. i know my descision is for the best, especially as joe is so small but i feel i am losing the last little piece of me. It was everything i had ever wanted but as the fire has taught me its only stuff. I am the force behind Astara and it's the drive that is in me, the hopes, the fight and the spirit and ideas that come that has made it what it is, and will make it what it will become in the future - whatever that may be!

I know that the future is exciting and unknown and this time murray and i are walking down the path together and as he said the other day i have to trust him to look after us, and that i am safe now from all the horrible stress. But it's the letting go and taking that step towards the unknown that is terrifying me! The untangling of the complicated financial web surrounding Astara that needs to be tackled before any sunshine might peek through!

So i think i'll make myself some mind maps and wishlists - I am a list queen but right now i'm not too sure what lists to write as there are that many things to be dealt with and directions i'm getting pulled in i have no idea where to start!

First things first to tackle tomoro is my sock drawer because as soon as thats done - my mind will be clearer (honsestly it works!) and as a wise woman on one of my favourite films once said ........... "let's start at the very begining - a very good place to start"...........


oh - I even managed to wash my hair today and shave my legs (while Joe sat in his bouncer on the bathroom floor and we both listened and danced to Eliza Doolittle) so progress has been made from the depressed heap i was yesterday!! lol

ps/ baby Joe is laughing so much just now, loves sitting in his bumbo and standing in his funrock! He is standing on your legs or the floor at any given chance and is able to pick up the toy that he wants and put it to his mouth or take his dummy out his mouth and fling it accross the room! He's just too cute and so laid back it's really funny! He got apple the last 2 days for supper and loves it - he polish's it off like there's nothing like it!! and he's saying "mum, up and gran" in his own way and we're working on "dad" ooh, and there is 2 little white gems gleaming on his bottom gum!! yaaaay they've just burst through and nomore - but they're there!!! yaaaay!!! He's the funniest, happiest little boy and i adore him with all my heart! he's truly amazing and i cant wait to spend more time with him!


with much love xxxxx

DOWN AND FINALLY OUT!

My sunny happy me has gone to be replaced by someone who is stressed and it's the bloody salon thats doing it, my baby is the most important thing and i just want to be happy again and a bitty more laid back like i used to be, so ....................

I give up, I am not superwoman and this really sucks being on my own! I always believe that if you do your best then thats all you can do - but my best clearly isn't good enough as I never seem to have enough time in a day!

I read my sisters blog today and spookily it completely made sense about how I am feeling at the momenet - the little story about the coffee and the pebbles is really helpful and in my perfect life that would be all I needed to perk me up - but my life isn't perfect and shit happens and it's one thing knowing what is important and it's another actually managing to claw myself through another day! I try to cuddle my joseph as much as I can, play, sing and read to him - i even raced up the road today when a client cancelled last minute leaving me with a free 20 minutes that I had availiable to come up and see him, even though he was feeding i managed a short while just to look at him and smell his lovely smell!! Every second of every day that i spend with him just isn't enough! It's horrible, the guilt I have when i'm working is almost unbearable but when i'm at home the time dissappears even faster! The sad thing is that I cant leave things that are deemed not as important as everything is important just now - he needs clean clothes, which need washed, hung out and ironed, the bath has to be cleaned for him to go in it - mum is here every day and the dishwasher needs to go on and be emptied! The plants all die if you dont water them, the nappy bin needs emptied or it stinks out the house, really there is only so much dirt thats acceptable in a brand new car before you have to hoover it out as it's literally just getting trashed! i want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I've not even washed my hair in a bloody week, my ironing basket is bigger than the bloody empire state building and there's not enough wax in the world to rid me of my hairy lovely'ness!!!!)

There's nobody but me to do all this, look after Joseph, manually work in the salon and also mentally organise the bloody salon too! How the hell do I cope? i'd love to be at the stage to have a "couple of cups of coffee" but i'm never in my bloody house or even get visitors! I know what i want to do and that is spend every second with my baby but i have so many responsibilities and if i have a sod it i'm just not doing it day, today, then it's a bigger, dirtier shambles and more to do and deal with tomoro!! But i wish i could just take time out, or get away for a wee while, press pause or relax! it would make all the difference! but i will keep my mayonaise jar thoughts and see what sand slips in between the pebbles as they have to be my main priorities - i am just so so so tired and exhausted! and i cannot wait for the day that astara becomes a pleasure again and not a constant chore! I release it all to my angels and i look forward to the changes that will be happening in our lives. This is a big new start for Astara and me and I really cant wait!

ps, this house is sooo empty! I miss my Murray and my Dot - god please just give me a break!

xxxx

HOME ALONE .........

Well that time has come again for mur to go earn us some pennies and while he's visiting santa in Greenland i'm holding the fort alone here! AAAhhhhh!

Things have been crazy since he left at 3am on Friday morning as Joseph is teething and at over 15lbs is no lightweight to wrestle with when he's screaming! he's started being sick again too and its been going everywhere! (even in the coop!)so its been a really rubbish weekend! but back to work tomoro so there's no rest for me!

The house is really empty without mur and dot, not really sure what to do with myself and the handheld dyson is really freaking out sitting unused (its fully charged and ready to go - lol!!!) my god, the house is sooo tidy and he says i'm the messy one ......?? the jury is still out on that!!

Joseph is eating twice a day at the moment and steamed pear and baby rice is his favourite, but i am going to try him with some other veg this week so that should be fun! he's usually really laid back, happy, smiley and very cheeky looking! he's managed to roll over twice and i'm sure he shouts "mum or mumma" when he yells on me in the morning! He is the spitting image of murray and is really getting so grown up and as Annie said to me today "each day seems to last forever, but the weeks fly bye!!" and it is so true! i cannot believe that my beautiful little precious baby is 18 weeks old tomoro! it breaks my heart! and having to leave him to go to work splits me in two! but i have to go in and sort out the complete mess that has been caused in poor Astara and i know have worked so hard for 5 years to build it all but i am tired now and am missing so much of my beautiful boy! its horrible. i just want to be with him all the time and i bloody should be which is so annoying! He is just adoreable and smells delicious!!!

He also adores his bath and will hopefully be going swimming soon, possibly with me, auntie leeann and his big cousin Kirsten - who is adoreable, beautiful and the bestest, kindest, most patient and cutest "mini mum" he could possibly ask for! it's such a hard time just now all round, as i opened astara when leeann was pregnant with K, and i have missed so much of her growing up and its so scary that she starts big girl nursery this week in the afternoons!! i really feel for my poor sister this week! But the great thing is that Kirstens's getting to a really great age and that now joe is here we can all do things together and have tons of girlie times and i really hope i can seriously spoil this little cherub with lots of love (but only if she lets me!! lol) i'm sure there will be lots of family fun coming and plenty cups of tea to enjoy in the thunderdome!

one thing i want to make sure i log in my journal is that My other boy is all grown up and his heading to highschool! my beautiful nephew who for years has been my special boy is breaking my heart, i dont know how poor Leeann is coping. it just feels like yesterday that i was cuddling and kissing him, just like my baby joe! i have adored this boy like he was my own and i cant explain how this has been affecting me since his last birthday! It's been an emotional year for him with baby joe coming along and the sad thing is that he doesnt remember everything that we all did together or the years of fun me, him and leeann had! we've had so many really good times, done so much and loved each other so much that its making me sob just writing this! He's grown up and turned into the kind of boy you can be proud of, loving, caring, funny, generous, talented, happy, kind, and just really really special. There is not a person in the town that hasnt heard of him for all the right reasons, he's got an inner confidence that isnt arrogant and i hope with all my heart he soars this week when he goes to the waid. I hope everyone see's in him what we all do and they make a special place in their hearts for him as wherever he goes he touches people and they all love him. I know that everyone thats met him will have a "Fraser story" and i hope this is just the start of a fantastic future for him and that all the right doors open along the way for him in life, as he really is a special boy full of a kind of wonderfullness that you just dont find very often - Good Luck Fraser - i love you soo much! xxxxxxx

anyway since i'm now fully drenched under my raincloud of doom, i am really feeling down in the dumps just now!!! i dont fit into my clothes, murray said i look old, my hair needs cut, my horrible pigmentation on my face makes me look really tired and ugly and i've no therapists to give me any treatments. so i'm like an albino hairy goat and my pampered puss lifestyle is now well and truly gone - i feel like bloody cinderella .................. but where is my fairy godmother?????? i just dont feel like i belong or fit in anywhere whith anyone and i dont even look or feel like myself just now! this really sucks, i'm soooooo tired!!!

just feel like i need a night out or a day of something to look forward to or get dressed up for, but i'm lonely and bored if that could be possible at the same time as being so busy?? Not sure how i'm gonna get through this or what solutions i can come up with, this tigger has deffinately lost her bounce along with her tan!!

suggestions welcome ............ thats if anybody actually reads this drivel of a blog!!!!!!

much love xxxxxxx

Dorothy Hughes. found 2005 - lost 2010

It is with a horrible sad heart that I am writing this. We lost our precious beautiful bunny a week ago. Life is not the same, the house is not the same and I know that it never will be. Dot was just amazing and Murray and I are broken hearted! Words cannot say what that beautiful furry animal meant to me and I dont think I could ever make anyone understand how close we were! One of my clients summed it up by saying "She may have been a bunny - but she was your friend. And it's hard to lose a friend"
I miss you so much Dot Spot and i'm just devestated without you, nothing will ever fill that place you had in my life or in my heart - you're my princess for ever xxxxxxx

TEAM ASTARA!!!

Well it has been a great week!!! I am so proud of myself! We have come so far, Murray and I are closer than ever and I have had support from everywhere! I just feel much better about everything and a little more in control - i still dont get through my "to do" list but I really dont care anymore! Team Astara rocked over the weekend and seriously kicked some Fat Ass!!
Astara Beauty and Beyond on facebook is our latest addition - but i'll just keep the ideas coming!!!!! so keep watching this space!!!! xxxxx

On a home note, my Murray is in aberdeen doing a course this week so i'm flying solo with a beautiful bambino, my princess bunny, 3 fish and i'm supposed to be working full time!! things should be FUN!! This course means a lot to him so i hope it all goes well, but to be honest i so wish it was on another week or not at all, as i've finally gotten used to having him around since May and now i'm missing him lots! :(

Joseph is just doing fabulous! He's trying to sit up, is giggling like mad, smiles lots and lots and is utterly charming! Mum and I did a mad dash round dundee retail park today to try and get him some new clothes - everyone gave him sooo much 0-3 month clothes when he was born and hardly any 3-6 months which is what he's in now!! He's 15 weeks old tomorrow and is massive! He is so long and fit looking - just like his dad! He's not fat, just completely solid! He's on 4 8oz bottles each day and the bloody milk truck keeps zooming into queens gardens and waking him up, so unfortunatel he's back to waking again at 5am but will usually have been sleeping since bout 9pm so thats not too bad!!
Anyway, we got him cool noisy toys today that he loves to shout and speak to and there is this poor rabbit that he punches in the head! Mur says he's "south paw" which i think means he's a left handed boxer?? but anyway my big strong handsome baby boy can pack a punch (just like daddy!)

He's getting weighed again on Thursday but i think im working so will miss it - but his granny hughes will be here, so he'll be in safe hands! I cant wait to see how much he has grown!

Must dash, I'm going to have to go now but i'll be back on and updating again soon!!

PS - i fitted into my size 8 jeans the other day (I just ignored the muffin top and breathed in like there was no tomorrow) - but i managed to get them up!!!! (i couldnt wear them but i still got them on!!!!) YAAAYYY!!!!!! :)

pps - blogger is being a pain and wont let me upload any pics - i will keep on trying tho!

The Only Way is UP!!!!

Just popped on to say hi to everyone and to say a huge big, sorry i've not been on for ages!
Things have been manic and its nothing to do with poor baby Joe who is a complete superstar! And somehow i've managed not to have a nearvous breakdown!!!

Things have been slightly stressful to say the least! So much for enjoying my maternity leave! in the last fortnight poor Dotty has had a cancerous tumour removed and was taking little fits and we have almost lost her - but today she seems so much better and happy with shiny fur! My poor beautiful bunny, i'm devestated at the thought of being without her, but the main thing is we need to give her an awesome summer full of fun and lazy days in the garden!

But my god, the bloody most stressful thing to me has ben The Salonm things there have been pretty crazy and have pretty muched caused complete chaos, as I'm now back in working full time to sort out a shambles, left by my therapist when she decided to quit, probably taking half of my clients, my receptionist has also left as she's friends with the therapist, and i to be honest for staff cover over the next few weeks i think we might just be up shit creek without a paddle, but my angels havnt let me down so far - so i'm sure things will sort out!

- but i will say one thing - Dawn has picked on the wrong girl and my god i'm gonna kick some ass!!!! Watch this space cos i've been brainstorming and I rock at that!! so keep on checking up on here for some excellent pictures and i'll tell you what we've all been up to ............. COME ON TEAM ASTARA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Days!

Well it's been a while since i've managed to get on here!

Things have been really crazy recently and i've been going mental - and I mean mental - losing my temper just hasnt been enough!!!!!!!!!!

I know they say in life that you only get so much to deal with, that you can actually cope with - well holy shit - i've had it piled onto me!! With Murray's bloody knee surgery being in Glasgow, then him not being able to drive, hold Joseph, climb the stairs etc for over a week - its been really tough on me!! Then the computer crashing in the salon for a whole week after burglars in Anstruther had been breaking into shops, i decided to empty mine for the bank holiday weekend! They never robbed us but it caused mayhem in the long run!!! lol , then Dawn being off sick meaning i had to go back into work earlier than i'd planned, and I somehow did something to the handbrake and my beautiful new car rolled down a hill and got bashed and is still away getting fixed! (meaning i'm driving a skoda courtesy car - nice!!!) Had so much salon paperwork and phonecalls its been horrific and I cant remember any more as i've tried to block it from my mind but unfortunately it was all capped off at the weekend on my first night out drinking in 11 months and the first time i'd been out and dressed up since the baby was born, when someone who will remain nameless upset me more than anyone would ever know and asked "how long do you have left to go? when are you due?" I was gob smacked - i'm not as small as before but i was wearing a size 8 dress!!!! So what I didnt say at the time as i was too shocked - but should have said was.......... FUCK OFF asshole!!!!!!

SLEEPY SUNDAY!

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Well it was the football presentation dance last night and Murray arrived home at 2.30am - after standing outside the salon looking for burglars whilst phoning me to tell me he was down the street and "ready for them" (honestly i wanted to bash him myself at 1.50am) never mind!!! The front door then burst open, he crashed around downstairs for a bit, then ejected himself out of his suit in the livingroom (it looked like the hulk had been there!) woke up Joe who was sleeping in my arms in the nursery after his bottle and then crashed out accross the top of our bed - where he has remained comatosed since!!! Am i bothered??........ me???? naah of course not - i've loved having the baby for the last 21hours on my bloody own!!!!!!!!!!!

So it's now mid afternoon - i'm officially on strike and still in my pj's - i've done the bottles, the baby, the washing and tidy'd up and i'm determined that i'm doing no-more!! it'll be takeaway for tea a cosy bath then clean pj's all round and bed!!! (Tomorrow's Monday so we can start all afresh then!!!)

The lord and master has now risen - my god he stinks!! - the baby has been firmly placed in his arms and i've done a runner to the kitchen - now both my boys are on the couch and all i can hear is UFC blaring outta the telly!! (give me strength)(can't live with him, and can't live without him, comes to mind......!!! lol)

Well who knows what this week coming will bring, as our plans have gone all to pot - seeing as bridezilla has "relieved me of my duties" we've now got a free weekend!!

From this whole sorry situation, I've learned a good life lesson and found patience and reserve that i never knew i had. I've never had my professionalism questioned and dismissed before and it hurt me to the core, but from somewhere i found calmness, compassion and pitty for the girl, and have risen abouve it all. I am fiercly protective of both my beautiful baby and my salon and both have come under fire and been the subject of a nasty, cold and hurtful attack. But from somewhere i've managed to walk away from a situation where i would have normally completely lost it and seriously fought my corner, especially as all i was doing was being kind, doing a favour and trying to help. But the greater picture is my family happiness and I adore my family - Teesh and Graham mean the world to me and i will never ever do anything to upset what we all have - so if keeping quiet and walking away is needed to keep the peace, then so be it!

It's a big week for me anyway, full of more important things. It's officially 3 years on Saturday since the fire and hopefully we'll get the last installment of our insurance settlement! Yaaaay, woop woop woop!! thank goodness - it's been a tough patch for us but we're nearly there! I've got an excellent bunch of girls working for me now and hopefully this'll be a good year for Astara!! Thats if we dont get robbed this week! Buggers!! I've done everything i can to prevent it and short of putting Mur down there to sleep with a baseball bat at night - it's now left in the hands of the police to keep an eye out (now why dont i feel reassured????!!!) considering the same west coast scumbags that were casing out my salon, were the very ones questioned by CID about the other burglaries ................ i think it'll jst be a matter of time until they strike! Which is sad, scary and horrible!!!

On a more happy and cheerful note, Baby Joe is truly scrumptious and has been a darling this weekend, we've been to St Andrews, out visiting, and he went to see the Swallows play with his daddy yesterday, while i was getting my spray tan done!! - (bet it wont be long til he's running up and down the sideline with a ball and strip on, causing chaos!!!) - He's now up to 6oz per bottle!! (The boy is getting HUGE!!) He is sleeping longer and is cutting out a feed a night and he really is soo funny!! (ask "are you gorgeous?" and the smile you get would light the room!) i love being a mummy and Mur really is an excellent daddy - but you know things have shifted when the baby is screaming for scotland and you both find yourself "tag-teaming" him, trying to change his nappy as fast as you can, both singing incy wincy spider, trying to restore the calm!!! lol .......... whats happened to us?

............. Poor dot must be wondering what the hell happened to her quiet wee house??? (well she's not the only one!!!) xxxx (she's lying sprawled out under my chair as i am typing this getting some peace and quality time with her mum!!)

better go - Murray's just announced he's hungry, he's busy rading an empty fridge and i'm supposed to have been online for the last 20 minutes doing the Asda order!!! (OOPS!)

xxxx bye for now, much love xxxx

Count to 10 ...............

Aaaarrrrggghhhhhh!!!

This has been one week not to be repeated!

Take a deep breath!

I am blogging on the run, practically, tonight as it's pay day! (again, so soon, where does the time go????) I am swamped under with paperwork and have enough money sitting in bundles to go to the maldives (yes I was tempted to run....) envelopes, rent reviews, holiday pay accrual, P60's, P45's and tax returns and on, and on, and on ...... lying everywhere needing my attention even a large G&T just wont cut it tonight!!! God my heads hurting just writing this!

On top of all that, I've had a very hungry baby needing fed, (nailing 5oz every 3hrs) a mother in-law (bless her) frantically ironing, a husband with a seriously busted knee (and if he keeps up with the grumpiness a busted face to match it!!!)a flaming roasting heat wave, (with a baby who is beter suited to artic conditions) the biggest bloody bridezilla, (don't even go there!!) staff meetings, baby visitors, health visitors, a cat thats hell bent on stalking my beautiful dot spot! celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary and to cap it all off we've just finished 4 nights in a row of visiting mums house to see the Ozzy's!!!! (we loooved them, they were all just fab people!)but i'm shattered!

Oh and who'd have believed it - surprise bloody surprise - i'm still doing the night feeds ("cos your just so good at it") as husband dear - is just no use and doesnt even hear him cry!!! How I ask, can he possibly sleep through the racket our darling can create, I dont know, but he's a master at it!!! Lord give me strength before i blow my stack! But never mind, lets look on the bright side ...... he might get a trip off after his knee surgery (OH F$@K!!!!!!!) 12 weeks at home, So hey God, just bring it on!!!! (what did i ever do to you?)

Ps, Baby Joe is seriously SMILING this week, (it would melt your heart!!) is weighing in at 10lbs 6oz, has slept amazingly in his wonderful auntie's HUGE silvercross pram 3 times and is now sleeping in his own room at night!!! YAAY!!! He's so funny and I would go to the end of the earth for this little lad, words just cant describe how loved and adored he is.

Hope you are all having a better week than me! (could it be worse than mine??)

With Much Love and Blue WKD's

xxxxxxxxxx

On the home stretch!!

"Daddy's coming home" Yaaay, I dont think in all the years that Murray has been offshore I've ever looked forward to his arrival as much as I am this trip! and I love him and miss him everytime he goes like you wouldnt believe, so thats really saying something!!!!

It's going to be so much fun! We're going to do so many things and go loads of places and really just enjoy being all together!!! and since i'm back in control again with the house and the fact it's even tidy again - I'm like a new woman, so I know the 3 of us will manage amazingly!!

It's so funny to think we're now a 3 or even a "family" as it's been just us 2 for so long! zooming around in fast cars buying stuff, doing what we wanted, spoiling ourselves and generally having a very indulgant selfishly bloody fantastic time!!! But I've been there, done it and bought the t-shirt (or the clothes shop in my case!!!!!) lol, and I'm so ready and excited for this new, special part of my life full of precious love and blessings, that money cant buy and is hard to imagine ever being without now!!!

I love my "House of Hughes" and all it's going to bring and I have never been happier in my life! And i'm coping with the groundhog day effect of washing, feeding etc but not with the just fell outta the tumble dryer look - man i look pretty rough right now and Jane Iredale is doing a sterling job but nothings that good! i'm almost a lost cause!!!

before i go - we went out for a walk yesterday that turned into the biggest trial ever - 4 flaming hours - as we did a quick pitstop at the Peat residence for a feed enroute and never made it outta leeanns livingroom again! complete, total nightmare! poor wee man threw up, heated up and played up!! lol - i was sweating, next time i go for a walk, i'm taking the car!!!! ;) and i'm not joking!
(but the half bottle of blossomhill i sank on my return home - soothed all frayed nerves!)

here's some bathtime pics of Master Joe, who is learning to smile this week, is trying to baby talk (almost as much as me!) and can hold his rattles!!!! It's been a great week with the greatest wee man!!

better skoot, granny mary's feeding the munchkin,
much love xxxx

Life Outside the Livingroom!

What a week I've had - Poor Joseph's been back to the doctors and is on stronger reflux medicine (jury is still out as to whether it's working yet or not!) I followed advice on getting rid of cradle cap by a stupid old nurse at the practice (wrong advice may I add!!) and have managed to rub off half his hair ........... not a good look - poor wee baby! But after a complete and total melt down that lasted over 8 hours I came to terms with it and the fact that it was me that did it - and I realised it was falling out anyway! God, who said that mummy guilt is easy to live with?!!!!!

And finally ............... We made it out of the livingroom the last 3 days and went to Kirkcaldy, to Leven and We went visiting both crazy granny's today! and minus the impossible amounts of sick, I'm managing mornings on my own! Yaaay!

So it's all good here in our house! and we're on the countdown until Freedom Friday!!! When Murray gets back! woop woop! It's gonna be a fun week! We are getting helped/visited by lots of lovely's to give poor granny Mary a rest from us to get organised at home before her Ozzy's arrive! Our rota is shaping up quite nicely, Annie, Lor, Christine and some reflux sympathising visitors too!!! I'm reallyquite excited!!

Ooh and i'm booked in for a complete overhaul over the course of the week at the salon!! I cant wait - there are bits of me that I daren't even type about ........... I just shut my eyes now and if I cant see it - it cant worry me!! lol

On a sad note - i missed the beauty show today! awwww, it's really made me sad - What's happening to me? but fingers crossed i'll be in a better more organised less sickly place next year and I can arrive in style, groomed perfectly with a list in my hand........... back to my old self again (where has she gone?? can anyone still see her?)

ps/ At the top there's a few cute pics - some of my fav's from the last 5 weeks!!!

much love xxxx

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY .................

OK, so I might not be managing the yummy mummy part yet!! My god where does each day go? I would not have believed this possible but I never got dressed or washed at all yesterday - by the time Joe had thrown up for the 4th time I gave up! I honestly couldn't tell by the end of the day, which one of us smelt the worst!

What has happened to me? I'm a busy person with a business! How the hell can something so small cause so much chaos? If I could just feed him and put him down it would be fine, but he needs held still until there's less chance of the milk coming back up - which I have done for the last few weeks and don't mind doing - If the little shit would stop wriggling about, grunting groaning and trying to fill his nappy - whilst feeding! It's like wrestling a bloody barking octopus!

I feel like I've been picked up and placed in a strange country with no road-map or directions and a language I don't speak!!! But I'm a tough girl - I'll get there! Jane Iredale solves all problems!

On a plus note - Joseph met all his cousins (all 4 of them!!) at the weekend and it was fab! They were all excited to see him and he behaved perfectly and wasn't sick on them or pee everywhere while getting changed!! Both granny's got pictures, all aunties got teary eyed and I got out the house twice in 2 days!!!! It was a great weekend and went to my first bbq of the year! - until he threw up the moment we got home on Sunday night and hasn't stopped since!! Lol

Murray's words of "surely it cant be that bad Sarah"are still ringing in my ears .................... lets see how bad he thinks it is when I hand him Joe on my way out the door a week on Friday when he arrives home ................... ;)

Better go bathe both of us - or our house will be getting quarentined and fumegated as a health hazzard to Queens Gardens!!!

ps / still have not mastered the art of adding pictures - but I will!!! xxxx

JOSEPH DAVID JAMES HUGHES

At 01.31hrs on the 13th April 2010 - a gorgeous wee boy arrived in our lives - the less said about the labour to get him here the better!!! Joe is the spitting image of his daddy and he melts my heart! It's been an amazing 3 1/2 weeks already and I know everyone says it but - "I can't imagine being without him!" However I can remember what it was like before, when I was able to wash my hair and brush my teeth and could go to sleep (sleep...........what is that???) without a bloody relaxation cd playing on repeat all night long!

And who upstairs is having a laugh and sending me a beautiful baby complete with bloody REFLUX??? ..................... Not finding it funny at all!! Although I think Scott the painter will be pleased as all our walls now need re-done!! lol

Better skoot, Master Hughes is screaming for his bottle - unfortunately he has Murray's appetite with my temper and patience ......... Nice!!! :)

Will upload some pics as soon as I can corner LeeAnn to find out how!

xxxx

Sunshine Saturday!

What a beautiful day here at my house!

The sun is shining, Dot Spot is charging round like a woman possessed! and my garden doesn't look quite so bleak with my tiny daffodils and spring plants popping up cheery and smiling all over the place! oh and my trees (small ones in big stone pots! nothing is planted in the ground here!!) have lots of green shoots and totsy little leaves unfolding as i'm typing - this really, really, really is my most favourite time of year!

I've just had my breakfast (branflakes yuk! - but needs must at the moment..........Lol) out in the summer house (surrounded by stoor, spiders and general filthyness left from 2009 as I'm not able to empty the damn place just now to give it it's yearly spring clean ready for summer - give me a fortnight tho ......!!!) I honestly have to say my summer house is one of my most favourite places to be ever - its so peaceful and cosy and its at the bottom of the garden so I can see everything and it's got lovely comfy furniture! I LOVE IT!! I cant wait to spend loads of time there this special year!

What I'm not loving today is the fact that i've woken up looking like a small fat old Chinese lady - with a huge moon like face and tiny slitty eyes ...............aaarrrrggghhhh!! Am supposed to be going shortly with Mur to watch him play football in the areshole of Fife (Kelty! - nice!!) but i'm not too sure how brave i'm feeling looking like this and nothing i own is fitting me right just now - i need this baby oot, pronto!!! What will i do? he's been so good to me and patient - we've been almost like blooming siamese twins at the moment!! which has been rather testing shall i say!!! ;) but bless him he's really trying hard! Part of me wants to stay here and just relax but the other part of me thinks poor Mur, if i dont go then he cant go! But he is out on the golf course in a competition right now - so he has been out loose for the last 5 hours!! So it's not that much of a poor Mur! ?? decisions decisions!!

Anyway I'd better skoot, as the dishwasher is calling and i've still not made the bed yet or done my makeup, or even in fact got dressed!! and we have a date with a dirt track and our 4wheel drive (operation "bring out baby") we tried it yesterday and it's a wonder poor bubba never fell out! so we're gonna give it a blast again today - god it was fun! Like being at knockhill or fyffe offroad! Lol

Must dash, Mwah xxxxxx

You Can't Hurry a Murray.........!!!

I'm still here!!!

Well, the official term is now 40 plus 2!! aaarrrggghhhhh!!!! Baby Hughes, where are you????

I could have won an Oscar over this last week, with the amount of crying and begging i've done to get baby out by now! But nope it's hanging on in there! Auntie Lor thinks its because i've made such a nice cosy home inside that it's not wanting to come out!!!!

Everything is ready, the house, the car, I know where my high heels are, my lovely jeans, and my jewellery ................ they're all sitting waiting to fit me again! (not that they will in any way fit if i sit here for much longer - I'm at Annie's dining table stuffing my face with pringles and waiting on her speciality cheese and onion toasty coming through! YUM!)

I've been told to relax and chill out and avoid making adrenalin ................ Yeah and there's more chance of the moon being pink! How the heck can I - a complete stress head, with OCD that lives on her nerves manage that??!!!

So today I'm trying my bestest - i've had a long lie, a lovely deep bath, pottered round the garden, coffee'd in the summer house with Leeann and the whirlwind and am now sitting in March Crescent "blogging" eating and having a damn good moan!! lovely!

I am now planning for an afernoon of icecream eating, toenail painting and spray tans and fingers crossed once i'm looking all lovely and Wag like - Baby Hughes will make it's grand entrance!!!

So, Bring it on baby - I'm ready for you!!!!!

Ps, please hurry up as I'm managing at poor Astara's cost to keep those blasted stretch marks at bay............ don't make me wait much longer - Dermalogica is wearing thin on the shelves! Lol.